Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)

'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

International Dating Etiquette
Learn more about the

"International Dating Etiquette"

CAUCASIAN WOMAN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.

Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.

BLACK WOMAN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.

Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you!

IRISH WOMAN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMAN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.

Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring.

5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.

6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMAN:
First Date: You get dynamite head.

Second Date: You get more great head.

Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

MIDDLE EASTERN WOMAN:
First Date: You fill out the mandatory familyquestionnaire listing all your assets.

Second Date: You go out to the park with her and her whole family comes along.

Third Date: She claims she's a virgin and refuses to have sex with you.

Fourth Date: She makes up for the past ten years of sexual deprivation in one night. you're rushed to a hospital for exhaustion.

LATIN WOMAN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on Riunite, have sex in the back of her car.

Second Date: She is pregnant.

Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and live happily ever after eating rice and beans in the Bronx.

POLISH WOMAN
First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. She gave you the wrong address.

Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant.
She gets lost getting to the restaurant and then again going home.

Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if its hers.

KOREAN WOMAN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens again.

Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMAN
First date: Meet her parents.

Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

Third date: Wedding night.

Subject: BUMPER STICKER HANDBOOK
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If Anything Falls Off
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cat: The Other White Meat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE.....PLANT A MAN.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~