Good :Your wife is pregnant.
Bad :It's triplets.
Ugly :You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good :Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad :She wants a divorce.
Ugly :She's a lawyer.

Good :Your son is finally maturing.
Bad :He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly :So are you.

Good :Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad :You find several pornn movies hidden there.
Ugly :You're in them.

Good :Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad :You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly :Your daughter borrowed them.

Good :Your husband understands fashion.
Bad :He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly :He looks better than you.

Good :You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad :She keeps interrupting.
Ugly :With corrections.

Good :Your son is dating someone new.
Bad :It's another man.
Ugly :He's your best friend.

Good :Your daughter got a new job.
Bad :As a hooker.
Ugly :Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly :She makes more money than you do.