Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

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REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Very interesting findings of Dr. Tariq Al Swaidan might grasp your attention:

Dr.Tarig Al Swaidan discovered some verses in the Holy Qur'an That mention one thing is equal to another, i.e. men are equal to women. Although this makes sense grammatically, the astonishing fact is that the number of times the word man appears in the Holy Qur'an is 24 and number of times the word woman appears is also 24, therefore not only is this phrase correct in the grammatical sense but also true mathematically, i.e. 24 = 24.

Upon further analysis of various verses, he discovered that this is consistent throughout the whole Holy Qur'an where it says one thing is like another.

See below for astonishing result of the words mentioned number of times in Arabic Holy Qur'an

Dunia (one name for life) 115 ---> Aakhirat (one name for the life after this world) 115

Malaika (Angels) 88 ---> Shayteen (Satan) 88

Life 145 ---> Death 145

Benefit 50 ---> Corrupt 50

People 50 ---> Messengers 50

Eblees (king of devils) 11 ---> Seek refuge from Eblees 11

Museebah (calamity) 75 ---> Thanks 75

Spending (Sadaqah) 73 ---> Satisfaction 73

People who are mislead 17 ---> Dead people 17

Muslimeen 41 ---> Jihad 41

Gold 8 ---> Easy life 8

Magic 60 ---> Fitnah (dissuasion, misleading) 60

Zakat (Taxes Muslims pay to the poor) 32 ---> Barakah (Increasing or blessings of wealth) 32

Mind 49 ---> Noor 49

Tongue 25 ---> Sermon 25

Desite 8 ---> Fear 8

Speaking publicly 18 ---> Publicising 18

Hardship 114 ---> Patience 114

Muhammed 4 ---> Sharee'ah (Muhammed's teachings) 4

Man 24 ---> Woman 24

And amazingly enough have a look how many times the following words appear:

Salat 5, Month 12, Day 365,

Sea 32, Land 13
Sea + land = 32+13= 45

Sea = 32/45*100 = 71.11111111%
Land = 13/45*100 = 28.88888889%

Sea + land = 100% - AMAZING!!!

Modern science has only recently proved that the water covers 71.111% of the earth, while the land covers 28.889%.

Is this a coincidence? Question is that:
Who taught Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) all this?