● سلام!
يه چند روزي سرم شلوغ بود! داشتم سعي مي كردم معروف بشم! براي فرانسه زبون ها يه سايت Roleplaying درست كردم كه در اين آدرس قابل بازديد است! كسايي هم كه فرانسه بلد نيستن يه نگاهي بهش بندازن بدي نيست كه يه چهار تا فحش آبدار بهم بدن بگن اقلا قيافه سايت خوشگله يا نه!
براي اوونايي هم كه فرانسه بلد نيستن و ادعاي انگليسي مي كنن در پايين يه روش كار گذاشتم. شما رو نمي دونم و لي خودم كه دارم ازش استفاده مي كنم و خيلي هم خوب جواب ميده!!!
How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with
that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time
this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent
it to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.



خب تا اينج كه به خير گذشت! حال هم از اين به بعد بهتون مي خوام درس سياسي بدم! ياد بگرين كه هر نوع دولتي چگونه عمل مي كنه!!! تو اين دوره زمونه بايد اين چيزا رو بلد بود وگرنه از گردونه خارج مي شين!

You have two cows. The government....

.
ANARCHISM:
You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.
ANARCHISM:
You have two cows. You steal your neighbor's bull and ignore the government.
ANARCHISM:
You have two cows. You keep the cows and steal another one. You ignore the government.
ANARCHISM:
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
ANARCHISM:
You have two cows. Your neighbor hits you over the head with a brick, steals your cows, then shoots them for fun. You later discover that he is a Nazi.
ARISTOCRATISM:
You have two cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree.
ARTIST -- VISUAL:
You have two cows. You stuff them and put them in glass display boxes. In London.
BRITISH:
You have two cows. They are crazy. You try to sell them in Europe.
BRITISH -- MAJOR:
You have two cows. One has BSE. You get a vet to give the other one the all clear, and then declare there is no problem from BSE in your country.
BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. To register them, you fill in 17 forms in triplicate and don't have time to milk them.
BUREAUCRACY -- EUROPEAN UNION:
You have two cows. The EU loses one cow, milks the other and then spills the milk.
BUREAUCRACY -- UNITED STATES:
You have two cows. The government takes both, loses one while moving it to a farm in Puerto Rico and forgets to milk the other.
CANADIANISM:
You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
CAPITALISM -- AMERICAN:
You have two cows. You sell one of them, and buy a bull. The cow and bull have a great love life; you sell the movie rights to Hollywood. Then you go into real estate.
CAPITALISM -- HONG KONG
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.
CENTRALISM:
You have two cows. And a problem finding them in the middle of the field with 100,000,000 other cows.
CONSERVATIVISM:
You have two cows. You freeze the milk and embalm the cows.
CONSERVATIVISM:
You have two cows. You lock them up, and charge people to look at them.
COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can't afford the milk. You wither away.
COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. The state takes both, and gives you a little milk ... once.
COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.
COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN:
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
COMMUNISM -- CAMBODIAN:
You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE:
You don't have any cows. The government sets up a joint venture with McDonald's.
COMMUNISM -- CHINESE:
You have two cows. You take care of them. The government takes all the milk, but you are encouraged to steal some of it back (before someone else does).

COMMUNISM -- "PURE":
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
COMMUNISM -- RUSSIAN:
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the government sends you to prison.
DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win.
DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
DICTATORSHIP:
You have two cows. The government takes both cows and drafts you.
FASCISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
FASCISM:
You have two cows. You give the milk to the government and the government sells it.
FASCISM:
You have two cows. The government takes one away and presses it into military service.
FEUDALISM:
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
FRISBEETARIANISM:
You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.
IDEALISM:
You have two cows. You get married and your partner milks them.
INDUSTRIALISM:
You have two cows. You dissect them both and figure out how to build a milk-factory instead.
LIBERALISM:
You have two cows. You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.
LIBERALISM:
You have two cows. You give away one cow and get the government to give you a new cow. Then you give them both away.
LIBERTARIANISM:
You have two cows. You let them do what they want.
LIBERTARIANISM:
Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.
NAZISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.
NEW DEALISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.
PACIFISM:
You have two cows. They stampede you.
PEROTISM:
You have two cows. You aren't allowed to sell the milk to Mexico.
PLATONISM:
You have two cows. You look for two other cows to milk.
PROTECTIONISM:
You have two cows. You can't buy a bull from another country.
REDISTRIBUTIONISM:
You have two cows. Everyone should have the same amount of cow. The government takes both cows, cuts them up, and spends more than the cows are worth giving everyone a little piece of cow.
SOCIALISM:
You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.
SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
SURREALISM:
You have two aardvarks. The government paints one green and requires you to take harmonica lessons.
TALIBANISM:
You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because "they are Hindu religious symbols."
UNITED NATIONISM:
You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.

حالا ديگه نگين بي سوادين! مي توننين در بحثهاي سياسي شركت كنين و كلي هم پز بدين!

مخلصات

□ Atilopatil @ : 11:04 : #